I was standing in my classroom yesterday, it was filled with noise. I looked at the dark day, the beautiful clouds overhead, and at that moment, I wanted nothing more than to be sitting at home, quietly sipping lemon tea, and writing.
This may seem strange to you since I just finished a month-long writing challenge, National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). Many people wouldn’t want to write another word after finishing over 50,000 words. That is around 1700 per day for the 30 days of November. Think of that. And, if you happen to miss a day, well, then you have to write 3400 the next day. I won’t lie, some days were really difficult. I don’t know if I’ll ever actually do anything further with what I wrote for this most recent NaNoWriMo, but it is there if I want it. It is enough to know that I finished the 50,000 words.
Yesterday, I simply wanted to enjoy the dark, brooding day, to sit quietly and enjoy creating a story, letting it happen naturally. More than anyone will ever know (or care), I miss having opportunities to be creative. I saw this quote the other day: “Lots of people will tell you how difficult it is to be an artist. But nobody tells you how difficult it is to NOT be an artist.” This was accompanied by a depiction of a person obviously at work, looking very beaten down and tired, probably wondering how his life veered off the creative path into … “this.” It happened to me. I was happy working as a graphic artist, most of the time quietly sitting at my computer, figuring out how to use the different software programs to make things work to the best advantage, involved in a somewhat creative process, before the printing business as I knew it disappeared. It wasn’t all fun and games, but it was a creative outlet for me.
Now I must settle for writing stories, creating books, and making images, all for my own personal enjoyment and benefit, nothing else. These days, because of the internet and other technology, “everybody” is a writer, or a photographer, and there is no making a living doing either of those things. In addition, those in charge want people who are entering the world of work to become corporate automatons incapable of coherent, logical, or creative thought. That way, those in charge can stay in charge, right or wrong.
I suppose I should be glad that I am in the right place to try to foster some logical, creative thought in my students. That, sadly, is nearly impossible within the current educational climate, no matter how hard I try. I have to settle for dealing with incessant noise, and an impossible job. Creating things will have to be only for my personal enjoyment, and I will have to be happy with that.