I don’t know what to think lately, especially today.
I woke up this morning in my own bed, which I initially thought was wonderful. Then I thought about the heavenly bed at the lovely lodge I could have been at if our vacation had worked out. I also thought about the peace and quiet I would have gotten, and the writing I would have gotten done.
Then, I went outside and cleaned and caressed my GS bike, treating it like a garage queen, acting like one of those people who buys the bike but doesn’t ride it, keeps it clean and nice but likes the idea of riding more than the actual riding. That’s not me, but today I wanted to get some of the little things done, things that take time but need to be done eventually. Like, lube the chain, but that always needs to be done on that bike since I ride so much.
I fixed the taillight on the GS, which has been broken for over a year, but has been functional thanks to yards of duct tape. I had to replace the duct tape because the extreme heat fried it and made it non-functional. I refuse to pay BMW’s exorbitant prices to replace that piece of plastic to which the taillight attaches, proving again that the cheapest thing on a BMW motorbike is the rider. Why fix it anyway? The bike could get dropped again and the taillight broken again. Plus, it’s one of many battle scars Jewel has, much like I do. We earned every one of them.
I thought about the little porch at the lodge, empty. We will not be sitting there, drinking a cup of coffee and watching the full moon rise over the trees.
I washed my riding pants. I think they were soon going to be able to stand up by themselves, although most of the “dirt” was dust that permeated every pore. I even managed to empty all my pockets this time and didn’t send my iPod or various other things through the washing machine.
I sprayed a pair of rain pants with Scotchgard in the hope I could make the pants waterproof again. They’re old, but they’re the ones that zip all the way up and they are easy to get on quickly over my boots when I’m standing at the side of the road in a downpour!
I went to indoor cycling at the gym in an effort to work out but stay off my feet (ruined by too much dancing). If my tendons don’t heal soon, I will not be dancing for a while. That would suck.
Saddest of all, I found out the woman from the local mail store (where I have been going for about 15 years) died suddenly of a heart attack on Sunday morning. The shop will be closed Friday afternoon and all day Saturday. As my husband said, “I just talked to her last week!” How quickly and unexpectedly people can be suddenly just – gone.
All these tragedies happening have really made me think about how life is too short, not that I didn’t think of it before, but lately I especially have in light of the terrible things happening in the lives of so many people I know. Not something I’ve wanted to consider much in the past, but reality has a way of rising up and slapping a person in the face.
I am hoping for a less “down” day tomorrow. I am going to try to get out on one of the motorbikes so I can clear my head.